Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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