So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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