this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
