I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
