Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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