How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
