my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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