I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
