He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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