Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
