Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
