we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
They have beer where we have blood.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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