there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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