Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
