So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
