I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
