Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
