I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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