The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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