So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Come see our sink grown plant.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
