the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
