Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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