Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize