My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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