i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Randomize
