So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I enjoy the company of your penis
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
