She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
