nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
