He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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