loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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