no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
