I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize