apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
