he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
