he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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