I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
