that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
