How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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