on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
