are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
