Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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