This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
