this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How does it feel to date your dad?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
