im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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