yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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