I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
