no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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