I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
