idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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