Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
