We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
