Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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