My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
