party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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