I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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