So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
