okay pat passed out under dana's car
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
