Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
