i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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