i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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