The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Couch. On fire.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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