Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
