i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
