Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
