i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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