What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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