And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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