brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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