belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
