I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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