It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
