Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
