capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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