Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
